15 January 2014: Day 8
LESSON EIGHT: SOMETIMES YOU FAIL
Yesterday was my most difficult day thus far.
Once again, I was called upon to teach the 8th
grade class. This time, right before lunch, Allison asked me if I would teach
the next lesson, this one covering the Monroe Doctrine. I told her I would look
it over and see if I thought I could do it—although I felt foolish even saying
that, since I couldn’t imagine turning her down.
After I looked over the material, I realized that covering just
the Monroe Doctrine was not only boring, but would take me all of five minutes.
I also felt that, since this lesson was the conclusion of the unit, I needed to
provide some kind of review for the class before they had their test on
Wednesday.
So I quickly put together a review of the chapter, most of
which I had not taught initially, of course. Unfortunately, that meant going
through a lot of information with very little time to prepare. Since I was
repeating what they had already heard, that almost certainly made the material
less interesting—and, to them, less important to pay attention to.
I tried to make the material relevant, and used illustrations,
allegories, and humor to help the students understand.
The long and the short of it was that it did not go well.
The students could not seem to focus. They talked, turned around in their
chairs, got up and walked around the room, interrupted, and were generally
disruptive. I walked around the room as I talked, using questions liberally to
get as many students involved as possible. The students within five feet of me
were attentive, looking at me and answering my questions (with the exception of
one boy who I have yet to see show an instant of respect, kindness, or
appreciation to anyone in the two weeks I’ve been there—he is arrogant,
self-obsessed, rude, and cruel). But the rest of the class was doing whatever
they wanted. They were so loud it was difficult for even the students closest
to me to hear.
I tried every technique I knew to wrestle the students back
into quiet—and, after 14 years in the classroom, I do know a few. Some of them
worked—for 60 seconds. But as soon as I moved into covering the material again,
I lost them again. Three students were sleeping—I woke one of them, but the
other two were sitting right next to Allison; since she did not take any
action, I did not feel comfortable doing so.
There were positive moments—almost every student that I
called on to answer a question from the chapter was able to answer correctly. Even some students who were among the
most inattentive knew the material when I challenged them on it. Overall,
though, the hour was a disaster.
When I finished, I retired to the back of the room following
a lame concluding comment (I don’t even remember what I said), and let Allison
take over the class. There was not a lot of time left, and I don’t actually
remember what happened.
So…I’m searching for the lesson in that one…
Today went much better. I did not teach, but spent most of
the day interviewing students. I continued to uncover wonderful stories of
triumph, overcoming adversity, talent, passion, appreciation, and diligence.
Even the eighth graders were wonderful to interview—although I still have not
talked to all of them. When I was not interviewing, I worked on the lesson
plans for my upcoming teaching unit—four days’ worth of lessons on forms of
government in ancient Greece, and guiding students through the process of
writing an essay on them.
The lesson I will be teaching has been provided to me; it
has been taught previously by other teachers at the school. Over the past
several days, as I have worked to prepare the lesson, I have encountered a
number of elements that I don’t particularly…like. I began revising it a couple
of days ago, and yesterday began talking about these revisions with the other
teachers involved. They have been very accommodating, willing to accept my
ideas and input, discuss options and pedagogical approaches, provide their own
ideas and feedback, and to change their own lessons to match what I am going to
try to do. I am excited to start this unit tomorrow, although I do not quite have it ready yet—and, since it is
currently six minutes past midnight, I will not be getting much sleep.
On that note, let me conclude with my…
LESSON EIGHT: SOMETIMES YOU FAIL—BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FAILURE
One of my heroes, super-teacher Rafe Esquith, talks about
three outcomes a teacher can expect from putting forth extra effort to try to
reach every student. He writes: “Number three is the downer: complete failure.
This is just an awful feeling, and it happens a lot.”
Yep. Yesterday, I felt that feeling. In fact, I’ve felt that
feeling every day of student teaching at some point during the day. It
generally doesn’t bother me—no one is successful every time and at every thing
he or she does. It’s when that sense of failure lasts, not just through a
moment of interaction, but through an entire class—or longer, heaven forbid.
There are many positives I can find in my hour with eighth grade yesterday; I’m
confident I accomplished something and
did some good. However, overall, I
failed to accomplish my goals for the lesson I taught. I failed to connect with
students as I hoped to. And that is difficult to swallow.
However, I cannot take that personally. There is only one
useful way to feel about that experience: to see it as an opportunity to learn.
The students may have learned little, but that should not prevent me from
learning.
And what did I learn?
Yeah, well…It’s now 12:30, and I have a lot to do before
morning. So I’ll get back to you on that.
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